Anxiety is brewing. I've been acting out some of my well-worn manifestations of anxiousness: Waking up at odd hours (i.e. now), talking without pause, constant motion and distraction, thinking I need to be doing something. It's uncomfortable and frustrating--I feel like I "should" know how to cope better by now. The Taurus in me is kicking around, begging for some semblance of stability. I'm hoping to hear back from Inyo County in the next few days, but I'm feeling anxious about it. I want to move things forward, and it's taking all my patience to pause and just be with what is.
Yesterday I did my first trail race. 25k with 2900 feet of climbing. It was very challenging, but I felt good about the outcome, and I'm eager to do another one with a little more training. I'm certainly not a natural runner, but running has always been a part of my life. I feel free when I'm running; I use it as a coping mechanism and escape. It brings me back into balance, which these days I desperately need.
Soundtrack: Yeasayer, "Tightrope"
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